My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it's great music for shaving your balls
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
