i permit you to call me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
