im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize