As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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