Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
