new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
