Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
