what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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