I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
