Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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