Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
