As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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