hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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