If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
