addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize