Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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