and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
