We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
