$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
