With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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