Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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