The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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