I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
