Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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