Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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