I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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