I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you made out with another girl for some wings
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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