You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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