my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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