Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
