That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
