HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
