their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
