Where did you get a picture of my penis
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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