i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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