Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
