That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
