Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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