True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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