That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you had me at cake vodka
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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