i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i out mim tonsoeep
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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