I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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