if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
