I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize