why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
