From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
