so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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