i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
