i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
