I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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