what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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