he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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