as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
