are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
