Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize