shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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