There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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